WELCOME TO CANADA WHERE WE LITERALLY PUT UP WARNING SIGNS FOR NESTING CANADIAN GEESE
BECAUSE LET ME TELL U ABOUT THESE FRICKERS
FIRST OF ALL THEY HAVE FUCKIN TEETH
ON THEIR TONGUES
DO YOU WANNA GO NEAR ONE? “AWW IT’S JUST A LITTLE GOOSE YOU SAY”
N O
THESE FRICKERS WILL CHARGE YOUR ASS IF THERE IS A NEST OR NEWLY HATCHED GOSLINGS AROUND
THIS IS THE STRUT OF A GOOSE WARNING YOU THAT IT’S ABOUT TO KILL YOUR ASS
ONCE THEY DO THIS?
YOU RUN FAST AND YOU RUN FAR BECAUSE ONE OF THE PARENTS WILL FLY UP TO YOUR PUNY HUMAN FLESHBAG AND KARATE CHOP YOUR GODDAMNED NECK AND TRY TO BITE ANYTHING WITHIN REACH OK?
WHILE THE OTHER PARENT, CONSUMED WITH BLOODLUST AND THE BURNING VENGEANCE OF A SPECIES HAVING NEARLY BEEN EXTINCT AND BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE GOES AND LITERALLY TRIES TO BITE YOUR ACHILLES TENDON IN HALF. WITHOUT FAIL THESE HELLSPAWN WILL ALWAYS GO FOR THERE. DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT IS?CONGRATULATIONS YOU NO LONGER CAN WALK OR RUN AND REQUIRE EXTENSIVE SURGERY BECAUSE OF A FUCKING GOOSE. I ASSUME THEY EAT YOU ALIVE FROM HERE OUT. THEY’RE THAT FUCKIN CRAZY.
CANADIAN GEESE ARE TERRIFYING AND THE SOURCE OF ALL CANADIAN STRIFE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER. I’M CANADIAN. TRUST ME. I KNOW.
THIS IS THE BRAVEST PERSON IN THE COUNTRY.it says something about canada that your countries biggest problem is geese
i think i’ve learned everything i need to know about canadian geese in one day
GUYS, let’s not forget about the canadian goose’s evil step-cousin twice removed, the SWAN.
THESE THINGS DONT FUCK AROUND WITH YOU ACHILLES TENDON, THEY GO AFTER YOUR KNEES!
SWANS NOT ONLY ENJOY THE TASTE OF HUMAN FLESH, BUT ANIMAL BLOOD AS WELL
and im not just talking the blood of other swans, IM TALKING FULLY GROWN DEER
and you better PRAY the day one of those things come towards your boat
because it will be all over VERY SOON my friend
SWANS, TRULY THE MOST FEARED and RESPECTED WATERFOWL IN ALL OF CANADIA
Actually My mom made friends with a goose. She was petting it one day and I have pictures of it. Anyways she was petting it for like an hour, then she said good bye and went inside. The next morning she went back outside and her goose came wadling around the corner of the beach and sat down right next to her and let her pet him. It was really cool.
(via deidaras-ass-splinters)
a snake escaping from it’s meant to stay in
i lost it at that little flop when it hits the ground
I WAS EXPECTING A SMALL SNAKE THAT IS NOT A SMALL SNAKE
WHAT THE FUCK
(via shiranuiamaterasu)
filed under: #audio #michael #cutie #these guys are going ti kill me
j4mi:
Starfish feeding on a dead whale.
i’ve never been scared of starfish until this moment
look at that creepy, tall, dancing one
look at him
‘yes, my darlingssssss’
‘feed to your hearts content’‘feast on what is rightfully ours’
‘feast, thrive— soon, we will conquer all‘
you have some unresolved issues
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT EVEN
(Source: nervation, via deidaras-ass-splinters)
i just laughed so hard fuck
I’mdying
It’s like he used the Volcan Nerve Pinch on the one drinking
can i just
i’m gonna do a thing real quick
(via kannolli)
my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple
(via pizza)
so my cat is meowing like crazy in the kitchen and so i go to see whats up and i walk in on this
so naturally im like “what the fucking hell” and go and look out the window and
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
THIS IS NOT ROMEO AND JULIET GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PORCH
(via starktrekenterprise)
